The Trouble With Summons
by Dixxy Mouri
Summary: The continuing adventures of a wood sprite, a sky djinn, and their unwilling would-be Dragoon in shining armor. Will Sonja and Genie win Glenn's heart? Er. . . highly unlikely. Now an ongoing series! Please review. You know you want to!!!
1. Razzly teaches us all a valuable lesson!

The Trouble With Summons

By Dixxy

It had been a very long, hot, and sticky day for Serge and his current traveling companions. All three young men were drenched with sweat and were desperate for a long swim in some nice, cold, refreshing water and a chance to get out of the clothing they were wearing.

"Even I'M hot right now," said Nikki, who, out of the three, was wearing the least. He turned to whom he saw as the unluckiest member of the party and shook his head. "I feel really bad for you right about now, Glenn. Long sleeve turtleneck, pants, and armor on top of all that. It must be like an oven."

Glenn was too overheated to respond.

Serge leaned up against a tree. "Need. . . water. . . NOW!" He turned his eyes on Nikki. "I know! I know!" he said, jumping up and down excitedly. "Nikki! You, you, your innate color is BLUE! Cast Deluge or something! Cool us off! Please? Please? Pretty please?" Nikki retorted in the only way he could against the clearly deranged youth- he smashed his guitar over Serge's head in a toned down GrandFinale, effectively snapping the Arni native out of his craziness spell.

"I'm not going to cast Deluge on you two- I might hurt you guys!" Nikki protested.

"Water. . ." Glenn said, falling to his hands and knees. "WATER!"

"You know, I have an idea," said Nikki. "We just left Fossil Valley, right?"

"Yes, we did," said Serge, shaking his head. "Thank you, Nikki."

"You'll thank me even more now- why don't we head to the falls?"

"Yeah!" said Serge. "The falls! The water's really nice there!" He turned to Glenn to help the other youth up. "Are you all right, Glenn? You don't look so good." The Dragoon gave a look that plainly threatened Serge physically harm for the plainly stupid question. Of course something was wrong with Glenn! His blonde hair was so drenched in sweat that it was sticking to the sides of his face and the back of his neck. His clothing had been nearly soaked through and he feared he was on the verge of dehydration.

"Um. . . let's just go to the falls before Glenn faints on us," said Nikki.

Serge watched as Glenn's unconscious body fell from his shoulder. "Too late."

~

__

Two hours later. . .

~

"Oh. . . I needed this," said Serge, sinking into the cold water of the small pool at the base of the waterfall. "This feels SOOOO good. . ." Serge dunked himself under the water and came back up a few seconds later, shaking his head and, therefore, spraying water everywhere.

"Hey!" said Nikki, splashing back. "Two can play at that game!"

Glenn relaxed against a smooth rock as he watched the other two goof off. He was still recovering from his fainting spell and was just now regaining some of his energy back- it had taken a few CurePlus spells and several drinks of water before he had regained consciousness- his friends had been afraid he was near dehydration.

The Dragoon sank a little into water, holding his breath as he let his body fall beneath the surface. He once again broke the surface, pushing his hair back to get some of the sweat and water out of his hair. He the shook his head, not spraying nearly as much water as Serge had. Then again, the blue haired youth was a little more carefree than he was about such things and seemed to be enjoying his water fight with Nikki, even IF the glam rocker was winning.

Glenn's ears perked up. He heard something. 

"Glenn?" asked Serge.

"I heard something," he said.

Nikki stopped. "That sounds like. . . giggling. . . from. . . GIRLS!"

"DIVE UNDER THE WATER!" said Serge. All three young men did, waiting as long as they could before they resurfaced. Once all three had resurfaced, they wordlessly agreed that it was about time they got out of the water, got dressed, and set up camp for the night.

Serge felt his shirt, which he'd hung on a tree branch after rinsing it off before going into the water. It was now dry and ready to wear. He looked over to see Nikki pulling the x-shaped suspenders (that was the best word Serge had for that part of Nikki's outfit, anyways) and Glenn looking around confused.

"Glenn, why aren't you getting dressed?" asked Nikki, pulling on one of his boots.

"Where are my clothes?" he asked. "I left them over here but now they are gone."

"Huh?" asked Serge. "What happened to them?"

"If I knew that why would I ask you where they were?" asked Glenn.

"Good point," said Nikki. 

Serge looked around, trying to figure out who would want to take off with Glenn's clothing. He looked up and saw two figures flying above them. "HEY!" he shouted, pointing skywards. His two companions looked up, Nikki raising an eyebrow in confusion as Glenn simply moaned.

"Oh no, not this again!" he whined.

"Are they who I think they are?" asked Nikki.

"Sonja and Genie?" asked Serge. He looked at Glenn, the only possible source of the two Green summons. Nikki had a similar look on his face. "Glenn, why did you summon them? We aren't in the middle of a battle and we don't need them out right now? What are they doing here?"

"And, more importantly, why are they playing with your clothes?" asked Nikki.

"I did not summon them," he said miserably. "They summoned themselves."

"What?" asked Nikki.

"They somehow figured out how to summon themselves," said Glenn.

"Why?" asked Serge.

"Apparently they have some sort of a crush on me," said Glenn. "That or a psychopathic obsession- I am not sure which one it is, but as of late they've been sneaking into bathrooms where I happen to be bathing and rooms where I am changing. I cannot control them."

"You're telling me that they're both in love with you?" asked Serge.

"I do not know if I would call it love," said Glenn.

"They remind me of a group of pushy groupies I met in Choras once," said Nikki.

"That isn't helping," said Serge. Glenn now looked mortified and had taken refuge in a nearby bush. He turned to Nikki. "Any idea how to get them to give the clothing back?" Nikki shrugged and pointed at Glenn. Glenn shook his head, looking up at the two summons in a pathetic whimpering type face.

"We need to get help," said Nikki. "Who knows a lot about summons?"

Serge bit his bottom lip. "I don't know," he said. "They're summons, Nikki."

"Um. . . want me to see if I can hunt up Steena or someone who knows a lot about magic?"

"We could try that," said Serge. He looked at Glenn, who was still in the bush. "Don't worry, Glenn, we'll get your clothes back." He turned to Nikki, then pulled the Teleporter out of his pocket. "I'm going to send you back to Termina so I can bring someone else here."

"All right, just give me a second to make sure I have everything," said Nikki. Serge leaned up against a tree as Nikki looked over where he had placed his clothing. He smiled, holding up his Pebble Pick. "See? I would've left this behind if I hadn't double checked."

"Say hi to everyone in Termina for me, all right?" said Serge.

"See ya!" he said, disappearing. He disappeared in a flicker, soon to be replaced by the Shrine Maiden, who was in a bathrobe with curlers in her hair. The remaining two young men stared at her strangely as she shrieked at them, drawing her sword (why she had her sword with her the other two never figured out). 

"Steena! Calm down!" said Serge, holding his hands up defensively. "I can explain."

"Start explaining," said Steena, looking rather irritated. But she did lower her sword, which was a plus. "I was just about to settle into a nice bubble bath with a good book when you brought me here. Being a shrine maiden and a village chief and an adventurer is tiring! Now what seems to be the- GLENN! WHAT ARE YOU-"

"That's why we need your help," said Serge.

Steena scoffed. "If he still needs help getting dressed at his age-"

"I need no help to dress unless two summons have taken off with my clothing!" snapped Glenn, pointing skyward. He whimpered. "Why did I get stuck with the perverse summons? Why? I could have gotten RedWolf and Salamander- they wouldn't do this. Or FrogPrince and BlueWhale would have been nice."

The shrine maiden looked skyward. "Hmm. You do have a problem there," she said.

Glenn mumbled something incoherent under his breath.

"Can you help us?" asked Serge.

Steena bit her bottom lip. "Hmm. . ." she said. Then, she shook her head. "No, sorry."

"WHAT!?" asked Glenn, nearly standing up, but stopped himself from giving Steena an eye-full. He cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure. "Steena, why can you not help me? They have my clothing- I am naked right now and I wish to be dressed. Please."

"I don't know anything about summons. Now had Unicorn and the Saints done something it might have been a different story, but I haven't used those summons, nor can I- my innate color is white, not green," she said. "If you truly want help, I would suggest getting help from another green innate person."

"That's not a half bad idea," said Serge. "Thank you, Steena." Steena nodded.

"Now- may I got back to my bubble bath?" she asked. Serge nodded switching her for someone else. He fumbled with the Teleporter while Glenn watched anxiously. Who would Serge come up with? Someone green, that was for sure. That meant a choice of Karsh, Razzly, Radius, Sprigg, Turnip, NeoFio and Van. Who out of that bunch would help him?

Apparently, Serge had chosen Sprigg. Unlike the previous choice, Sprigg seemed more ready for battle and less ready for a bubble bath. She was dressed like normal and stuff dressed normally. _Well, I suppose this could work out well,_ Glenn thought to himself. Sprigg was smart and wise.

"Ah, hello, Serge," she said. "Do you need my assistance?"

"Yeah, you see, we had a problem with two of the summons and then they took off with Glenn's clothes and now we-" Serge started, but Sprigg was no longer playing any attention to him. In fact, Sprigg was sauntering her way over to Glenn's bush. The Dragoon had a mortified look on his face.

"Why hello, Glenn," she said, winking at him. Glenn's face paled as Sprigg tried to get closer. "I had no idea you had such a nice and limber little body." She blinked old, crusty eyelashes at him, plainly trying to get a good view of the MUCH younger man's anatomy. "It's been over two hundred years since I've felt the company of a man-"

Then she was gone.

"Okay, so Sprigg was a bad idea," said Serge, laughing lightly as he tried to apologize to a somewhat traumatized Glenn. "I had no idea she'd do that you. Really, I didn't. She calls herself a lovable old lady, not a PERVERTED old lady, I swear it!" He pushed a few buttons. "Maybe this'll be better."

Radius appeared. "You need my assistance?"

"Yes," said Serge, who proceeded to explain the problem to Radius. The former Dragoon looked up into the sky and scratched his chin as he watched the two summons, who were now waving Glenn's shirt around. "Hmm. That is a problem, isn't it? I had no idea those summons were so. . . interested in Glenn." He turned to Glenn and chuckled. "Perhaps you should take them up on their interest in you- I know for a fact that you've had a bit of trouble with women in the past years."

"Radius!" Glenn whined. "Not now!"

"Come, come now, the Einlanzer. . . um, Einlanzers. . . are in your possession now and their choose their next bearer by means of family- you need to provide the next user. Think about how powerful the children would be if you mated with one of them!" said Radius. "And it's not as if they're-"

"I think we're going to try someone else," said Serge, switching Radius for Razzly. Razzly waved at Serge and gave him a hug, then went to hug Glenn, but stopped when she realized he was naked and hiding in a bush. The two explained the problem to the fairy.

"Hmm," she said. "I'll go talk to them." The fairy flew up into the sky to where the two summons were hovering. Both the wood sprite and the sky djinn both stopped to look at the young fairy. They then began to talk, a series of head nods and laughs being all that the two young men could make out. Then, much to Glenn's pleasure, the two summons gave her Glenn's clothing and went back to wherever it is summons go when they aren't being summoned.

Glenn and Serge stared in Razzly in shock as the fairy gave the Dragoon his clothing (while politely turning her head away). As Glenn started to dress, Serge looked at Razzly in amazement, shaking his head. "I don't know how you did it, Razzly. What did you do to get them to give up the clothing?"

"I said 'please'."


	2. Aw, poor Karsh

More Trouble With Summons

By Dixxy

"MMMPHHH! MMMPHH!!"

"I don't know, Genie, I think he said that he wants ME!"

"No, no, no! He wants ME!" said Genie, pointing at herself. "I'M the more powerful summon so I'M the one he should like better you low down dirty little wood nymph! I control the wind and everyone KNOWS the Wind based Green elements are much stronger than Plant based Green elements!"

"But I'M prettier! I have butterfly wings and you don't!"

Glenn groaned. He had been listening to the two psychotic summons for the past hour and a half and he was beginning to worry. No, scratch that, he'd begun worrying eighty nine minutes earlier. Now he was starting to panic. This time they had most definitely gone WAY too far.

It had started simple enough. Serge was going after something that required more magic skills than it did power, which meant that while some of the more magically inclined party members (namely Guile and Marcy) got to go while everyone else stayed behind. That was fine with Glenn- he wanted a break anyways.

Unfortunately, the two Green summons had other plans for him. After arriving at his small cabin like home in Termina, the two had decided to summon themselves to try and win him over. Like the many other times, Glenn turned them down and asked to be left alone. Normally they would give up after a while, go back to wherever they go whenever they haven't been summoned, and leave him be.

Not this time.

This time the two had decided to try something very desperate. He should have known something was up when they gave each other that knowing smile and then turned to hi, sauntering over to him as they swung their hips. Glenn had gulped. This time they had a look in their eyes that had devious.

Before Glenn knew what hit him, the two summons had pinned him to his bed. Thinking the worst, he had tried to scream for help, but one of them (he wasn't sure which one) had stuck something in his mouth to prevent him from screaming. While he tried desperately to break away from them, he eventually found himself tied hand and foot, extra rope locking his knees together. With one summon holding him by his hands and the other by his feet, they'd carried him out of the cabin and flown off.

Their destination? Gaia's Navel, the most unlikely place that anyone would go. After tying him to the base of a tree trunk, the two summons had begun to discuss which of the two would be most suited to him. Not to his surprise, each summon thought they were better suited to him themselves (he, however, would rather spend a night on the Isle of the Damned with Skelly than find himself involved with either summon- Glenn HATED skeletons).

Now, ninety-one minutes later, he was still being held captive by the crazed psychopaths. And they were still arguing. And they showed no sign of stopping. Worse yet, they showed no sign of letting him go and there was no sign of someone coming to his rescue. _SERGE! KID! LEENA! KARSH! RAZZLY! NORRIS! ANYBODY! HELP ME!_ he mentally pleaded.

Glenn looked upwards to where his wrists were tied and struggled to free them from the vines they had wrapped him in. It was no use- they only seemed to tighten the more he tugged at them- probably Sonja's doing. They had him tied up pretty tightly- he wasn't going anywhere without their consent.

Realizing that there really wasn't much else to do aside from hope for a rescue, Glenn turned his attention back to the two obsessive summons and pray that Serge or someone else found him before one of two bad things happened. They were either a) one of them killed the other and claimed his as their own, b) they decided that Glenn would make a great bigamist and he found himself stuck with both of them, or c) something worse. The Dragoon really didn't like any of the scenarios, though scenario "c" seemed like the least favorite choice.

The two summons stopped arguing and turned to him again. "Well, Glenn? Who do you like better?" asked Sonja, striking a "sexy" pose. "You like me better than Genie, right? You want someone more in tune with nature, right? Not some air head who has her head in the clouds all the time."

"But don't you want to marry me? I can fly us BOTH anywhere, not just myself. Besides, I won't track dirt in the house like SHE would, if she'd even let you live in a house- she'd probably want to live in the forest somewhere. I'm also the more powerful summon," said Genie. She bent down, tickling Glenn's chin with long, slender fingers and fingers. Glenn winced, trying to move away from the unwanted touch. "Don't you want me, Glenn?"

"He wants ME!"

"Ignore her," said Genie, taking on one of those seductive pouts that women use whenever they want something. "Think about how beautiful OUR children would be in comparison to the children you'd have with that bimbo. Take a gander at my hips. Imagine how well I would carry them! And I don't mind carrying them, either! I'll have as many of our children as you'd like!"

_Help me. . ._ Glenn mentally pleaded once more. _Anyone. . . HELP ME!!!!_

"There must be SOME way to decide who's better suited for him," said Sonja, who tapped her foot on the ground as she flapped her wings as she thought. "We both have our good qualities, don't we? I'm mean, the two of us are good looking, intelligent summons, aren't we? There MUST be a way to decide who is worthy of Glenn's heart!"

"Well," said Genie, "you are correct. We are damn good, aren't we?"

"Yes, just in different areas. I beat you in some areas, and you beat me in others," said Sonja.

"So what's something we can FAIRLY try our hands at?" asked Genie.

"I don't know," said Sonja, strutting her hips as she began to pace. She looked at Glenn, sending him a wink. The Dragoon in question shrunk back as far as he could. Sonja giggled. "Oh. . . Glenny is just so cute when he's afraid, don't you think?" She squealed and dove to the ground, kneeling before him with a huge grin on her face. "He's just to DIE for!"

Genie joined her fellow summon on the ground. "Ah, how true, how true. . ."

Glenn glared at both of them, mumbling some sort of a protest behind his gag.

"What now?" asked Sonja.

"Let's play dress up!"

"What?"

"Oh, come on now, if one of us is going to marry him we need to decide what he's going to wear, shouldn't we?" asked Genie. Sonja nodded, suddenly in love with the idea of forcing Glenn in the many different outfits they could come up with together. She had a dozen ideas already!  
Glenn whimpered. He was DOOMED.

Genie pointed a finger at Glenn and he suddenly found himself in an upright position. "All right, now that he isn't slouching, let's do some experiments with some outfits." Genie patted Sonja on the back, pushing the wood sprite forward towards their captive. "I'll let you go first."

Sonja cheered, jumping up and down as she clapped. She looked at Glenn with a wide grin on her face, her hands clasped. "All right, Glenny-pie, let's see how good you'll look in a nice forest friendly outfit!" Twirling a finger around in the air (effectively collecting lots of green magic energy in the process) and then pointing it at Glenn, she cast a spell.

FLASH!

Glenn suddenly found himself wearing an outfit that would have made him fit in almost perfectly with the local PreHysterias. The only piece of clothing that adorned his entire body (aside from a pair of boots) was a green loin-cloth made from leaves. Sonja giggled and made a swooning sound.

"Look at him, Genie! It fits him PERFECTLY, doesn't it?" she said.

_Norris, Starky, if either of you show up here, SHOOT ME NOW!_

Genie shrugged indifferently. "Eh. . . not bad. My turn."

FLASH!

Glenn breathed a slight sigh of relief- at least he was wearing pants this time. He wasn't overly crazy about the green shoes with the curled toes, but the pants were a plus. They were a dark green in color with a gold, jewel encrusted belt woven into the fabric, effectively showing off the result of many years spent welding a sword.

Sonja shook her head. "Eh, no."

FLASH!

Now Glenn was wearing a toga-like outfit with sandals and a vine wrapped around his waist. He felt something on his head, and, apon shaking it, saw the end of one of those u-shaped leaf crowns. The Dragoon rolled his eyes. Would this inhuman torture never end?

"Uh-uh."

FLASH!

An over-sized turban fell over Glenn's eyes. After thrashing his head about with a bit of vigor, he was able to toss it off. He didn't want to take his eyes off those summons. Looking down once again, he saw he was still wearing somewhat baggy pants, but this time a shirt and a jacket went with it, and the pointy shoes were gold.

FLASH!

Glenn tried to scream. He was dressed like a flippin' fairy, tights and all!

FLASH!

Now he looked was wearing baggy pants with a green vest and a fez.

FLASH!

Tunic, tights, a cape and a little pointy hat with a red feather.

FLASH!

A long, night-shirt like dress and another fez.

"I'm thinking this isn't getting us anywhere," Sonja commented. "Well?"

"You're right. . . now what?" said Genie. Then, her eyes brightened as she turned to Sonja with a cheerful look in her eyes. "Oh, oh, oh! I got it, I got it, I got it!!!" Sonja looked at her companion excitedly. Glenn looked at the two summons, wondering if he'd survive if he jumped off the island.

"Where I come from, men have many wives! We could BOTH marry him!" Genie cried excitedly.

"Brilliant!" said Sonja.

_Ah. So they have apparently decided I am going to be a bigamist after all. HELP!_

"Ooo. . . we should start the wedding preparations soon!" said Sonja. "I'll get the flowers!"

"I'll get the decorations!"

"I'm going to get invitations!"

"Oh! Oh! The cake!"

"I'll find Greco- he does weddings too, doesn't he?"

"Where do we have the wedding?"

"Why not right here?"

"Ooo! Good idea!"

_I am doomed!_ Glenn thought miserably.

~

"Why are we here again?" Leena asked. "There's nothing here, is there?"

"Well. . . maybe we can find some extra Denadorite here," said Serge brightly. He had taken himself, Karsh, and Leena to Gaia's Navel in Another World in hopes of finding useful treasures just waiting to be taken. And, aside from a few monsters, there wasn't anything getting in the way.

Karsh stopped, holding up a hand. Serge and Leena turned to look at the Deva. "I hear something."

"What?"

"It sounds like. . . a wedding ceremony?" Karsh asked.

"Here? On Gaia's Navel?" asked Leena. She closed her eyes, her eyebrows furrowing. "He's right. There's someone else here and it sounds like a wedding ceremony all right. But who would want to have a wedding ceremony all the way out here? For that matter, who'd WANT a ceremony out here?"

Serge lowered his swallow, then sighed heavily. "I do. Leena, give me a few Earthquakes."

"Why?" asked Leena, giving Serge the said elements.

"I need to chase off Sonja and Genie before they're both Mrs. Glenn. . . er. . . whatever his last name," said Serge. He turned to his comrades. "Wait right here. I'll be back in a few minutes. Karsh, get an Antidote ready- Glenn's going to have the worst case of Afraid we've seen yet."

Leena and Karsh slowly looked at each other as Serge walked off. Both the saucepan welding Arni village girl and the ax welding Acacia Dragoon Deva both had the exact same thought on their mind as Serge disappeared from view. _What the hell is he talking about?_

Before either could act on the thought, there was a resounding rumble, two feminine screams, and the sound of Serge threatening to have one of the Yellow members using ThundaSnake and Golem. Two figures shot into the air and disappeared into a big green portal that looked a little like a BlackHole. Now, very curious, Karsh and Leena ran towards where Serge had gone off to.

Apon emerging into the clearing, they saw Serge consoling a sobbing Glenn and a man in a turban sitting on a flying carpet, barking something in fast strings of Arabic. The strange flying man soon disappeared and, sensing their friend was in serious distraught, Leena and Karsh jogged over to Serge and Glenn.

"It was awful!" Glenn cried. "They tied me up and flew me from Termina to this place and wanted to play dress up with me and then they brought that man here to marry me to BOTH of them against my will and- OH IT WAS AWFUL!" Serge caught the Dragoon as a new wave of hysterics caused him to collapse.

Karsh raised an eyebrow. "Do I REALLY want to know what happened?"

"Sonja and Genie has this little. . . crush, I guess, on Glenn," said Serge.

"Oh, poor Glenn!" said Leena. She gave him an Antidote, which he thankfully took. Glenn smiled at Leena, just knowing that everything was going to be okay. Serge, Leena, and Karsh were here now and he would be able to go home without so much as a word from the two summons.

Unfortunately, Karsh had others ideas.

"SONJA!!! GENIE!!! C'MON, I'M ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT MANLY DEVA GOODNESS! COME AND GET IT WHILE IT'S HOT! YOU CAN MARRY ME! FORGET ABOUT GLENN! HE'S JUST A LITTLE BOY! I'M A **REAL** MAN! C'MON! I'M ALL YOURS, LADIES!!!"

Serge, Glenn, and Leena all exchanged a look.

"Should we leave him?"  
"Sure. We can come get him in the morning."


	3. Sorry Korcha, it ain't gonna happen

Even MORE Trouble With Summons

By Dixxy

"All right, Norris, I'll see your fifteen and raise you twenty!" Karsh said, laying the thirty-five gold pieces on the table. He, the former Porre Commander, and the Einlanzer Brothers (which was a nickname Dario and Glenn had recently "earned") had decided to have a classic poker night. The four were gathered in Dario and Glenn's old cabin around the kitchen table. All four men had brought as many gold pieces as they were willing to part with, and, as Karsh suggested, "a few layers of clothing in case the game goes strip".

The author paused to think about this prospect.

Norris looked at his cards, at the center of the table, and then back up at Karsh, who looked VERY confident in his cards. Dario (who happened to be the dealer and who happened to be wearing a green poker visor) was also studying his cards, scratching his chin as he looked on. Glenn was biting his bottom lip, also trying to make a decision.

"What the hell? I'll win it back later," said Norris. "Dario? Glenn?"

"Fold," said Dario, tossing down his cards."

"Ditto," said Glenn, following his brother's suit.

"Whaddaya got, Nor, or do you want to place another bet?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"I'll see your twenty and raise you twenty-five!"

"Twenty five seen, raise you another THIRTY!"

"Okay, I'll see your thirty- and as much as I've LOVE to see you strip, I'm going to stop right now," Norris said with a grin. The brothers whistled, watching as their two friends glared at each other. The former Porre officer flipped over his hands, proudly showing off a hand with an ace and four nines. "Beat that, hot shot?"  
Karsh snickered. "Oh? I think I hear the toilet flushing, Norris. Yes, that's right, it's a very ROYAL FLUSH for you, my friend!" the ax-wielding Deva said, slapping down the highest scoring hand in the entire game. Dario and Glenn gave Norris a slightly pained look at the color drained from his face.

"How the hell. . .?" was all he could say as he watched Karsh happily bring the pile of money his way. He shook his fine. "I suppose that's just as well, but I'm not finished with you yet. Dario? Glenn? Are you with me on this? Or are we going to let him gloat about this around Termina for the next week?"

"All right, but it will be every man for himself," said Dario, placing a coin in the center of the table. Taking the cards, he began to shuffle and laid down the rules once again. "Ante up, gentlemen. Same as the last games- swords are trumps, joker is wild, and winner take all unless there is a tie."

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!!!"  
"YELLOW-BELLY!!!"

Glenn suddenly whimpered. "Oh NO! Not THEM!"

"WE'LL SAVE YOU!!!"

The cabin was suddenly torn apart by a sudden gust of wind that was littered with leaves. A scream, the sounds of chairs smashing, and some flashes of green magic passed before the storm died down. Norris was lying unconscious on the floor with the two Green summons standing over him.

"NORRIS!!" Karsh cried out, rushing to his friend's side. "Norris, speak to me!" Karsh quickly put a hand to his friend's neck, searching for a pulse- two Green summons versus a Yellow innate COULDN'T be a good thing. Much to his relief, Norris still had a very strong pulse. 

"What did you do that for!?" Dario asked. "Who are you, anyways!?"

"Sonja and Genie, the two Green summons. They, uh, have a little, well, crush, if you'd like to call it that, on Glenn," said Karsh, still cradling Norris' unconscious form in his lap. "I briefly had a thing for them, but. . . eh, Orlha's better looking, anyways. A lot nicer, too."

The two Green summons stared at Karsh dangerously. The purple haired Deva groaned, closing his eyes as he waited for HIS beating to commence. A gust of wind and leaves later, Karsh had joined Norris in La-La Land, leaving the summons at the mercy of the Einlanzer Brothers.

Speaking of whom, the sons of Garai had drawn their respective Einlanzers and were holding them at bay. Dario narrowed his eyes at the summons. "All right, you two- would you explain to me WHAT is going on here and WHY you just attacked Karsh and Norris? I need to win a few hundred gold back from them and I cannot do that if they are unconscious!"

"Genie. . . Sonja. . . please. . . I have a girlfriend now," said Glenn. The two summons looked at him in interest, Genie's pigtails floating behind her as Sonja's wings beat behind her. Both summons looked unhappy with the news. Glenn continued, hoping to get somewhere. "You see, I REALLY like Leena- sorry, but I'm taken. But you know, I'm sure you'll find someone else. Give it a few years and I'm sure Van will be QUITE eligible!"

"This 'Leena' is NOT worthy of you!" said Sonja. "I bet she isn't even a Green innate!"

"She isn't- she's Blue," said Glenn. "But that doesn't matter! She makes me happy!"

"We could make you happier!" said Genie. She pointed at Norris and Karsh and nodded enthusiastically. "See? We knocked out the Yellow innate before he could hurt you and we also knocked out the annoying loud-mouth with the ax." Sonja nodded with her fellow summon, both looking VERY proud of themselves.

"While I will agree with you that Karsh can get loud sometimes, that is no reason to knock him unconscious!" said Dario. "It is also unnecessary to knock Norris out- he had no such intent. The purpose of this night was to play a friendly game of cards and perhaps go out to the bar later. Would you please leave?"

The two summons decided to not listen. Rather, the rushed towards Glenn. Dario blinked and surprise, then turned to see that they had his little brother pinned to the opposite wall. The dirty blonde was squirming to get away as both females tried to talk to him, a very frightened look in his eyes. "Dario, HELP ME!!!"

Dario shook his head, clearing his thoughts. "GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF OF MY BABY BROTHER, YOU STUPID SUMMONS!!!" he cried out. With a heroic war cry, Dario charged at the two summons, waving his Einlanzer around wildly in an attempt to get them to leave him.

Genie raised a hand and rolled her eyes, blowing the leader of the Devas into the opposite wall. With a crash, Dario fell to the floor. "Ooo. . . no General, I believe it was Marcy who broke the training dummy by the dragon stable. . ." And then he, too, was unconscious in the slowly growing pile of unconscious people.

"HELP!!!" Glenn screamed, still trying to get away. He had long before dropped his Einlanzer, the blade lying several feet away from where he stood pinned to the wall. Even so, he was desperately reaching for it. All he had to do was scare the summons away, then everyone would be all right.

Assuming that he could do that.

~

After tying making sure Glenn wouldn't run away, the two summons locked the other three poker players in the back shed. The knight rolled his eyes- this sucked. He knew Sonja and Genie all-too-well- more than likely they'd try to marry him or something to that effect. 

_This time I'm going to escape myself!_ Glenn thought to himself. _Now, if I wasn't tied to a chair this would be a LOT easier._ He looked behind him to see the vines he'd been tied with. _Maybe if I twist my wrists enough they'll come loose,_ he mused. _This doesn't look like the same knot from last time, anyways._

Yeesh, there shouldn't have even been a FIRST time!

Thoughts aside, Glenn began to twist his wrists in an attempt to free himself. Much to his pleasure, he could feel the vines beginning to loosen. Within a minute, Glenn was holding the vines up in triumph. He tossed them aside and began to untie his ankles, which was proving to be MUCH easier as his hands were free.

As he was doing this, his mind was running ablaze. If his brain were a hamster wheel, the hamster would be running like its little life depended on it. What could he do to rid himself of the two summons' for a while? As much as he appreciated their abilities in battle, he REALLY didn't want to get involved with them. Despite what Radius' views on the situation where, he wanted to settle down with a normal girl (like Leena), not a crazy summon (like Sonja or Genie). 

Glenn sat up, biting his bottom lip as he started to think. Part of him considered making a break for it, but then he remembered that the summons both had the ability to fly and, for the time being, running was a futile effort. He'd just be dragged back to wherever they decided to keep him and, considering Serge's quest was over, there was no chance he'd accidentally be stumbled apon.

It was around this time that he got an idea.

~

"You know. . . isn't Leena the name of that red-headed Blue innate that was traveling with that Serge guy?" said Sonja, who was adding the finishing touches to the vines holding the shed they had locked the other three in closed. Once she was satisfied, she and her fellow summon began walking back towards the cabin where they had left their knight in leather armor. 

"Yeah. . . but why would he want someone like HER?" said Genie. "She's just a human!"

"And she isn't as pretty as we are!"

"Or as powerful!"

"Or even of the innate color Green!"

"Or worthy of him!"

The two summons reached the door to the cabin and went inside, still discussing ridiculous reasons why they didn't approve of Glenn's relationship with someone other than the two of them. The idea disgusted them- he deserved MUCH better than her! He was GLENN after all!

As they walked in, they found Glenn sitting on one of the two beds in the main room, polishing his Einlanzer with mild interest. Both stopped in their tracks, staring at the knight in shock. Hadn't they tied him up? Why was he free? And, if he was free, why hadn't he run like the last ten times they'd tied him up?

Slowly, Glenn looked up. "Oh. Hello Sonja, hello Genie," he said calmly.

The two summons slowly turned to each other, the same thought on their minds.

What is he up to?

Glenn cleared his throat. "You know, I thought about what you two said."

"Said about what?" Genie asked.

"You know, about me and you guys," said Glenn. "You wouldn't make bad wives."

Sonja squealed with delight, jumping up and down and clapping her hands excitedly as she dove on the bed next to Glenn, sitting up straight with her hands in her lap and a smile on her face. "Are you serious!?" Glenn nodded. Sonja squealed again, bouncing on the bed.

Genie sat on his other side, making sure that one of her pigtails wrapped around his shoulders. Glenn carefully removed the offensive hair. "What do you mean by that, Glenn? Considering how opposed you were to having one of us despite our impressive qualifications, why has your opinion changed?"

"I've been thinking, that's all," he said, crossing one leg over the other and folding his arms. He lifted one arm and raised a finger, tracing circles in the air. "However, I only want to have ONE wife- two wives is just too much to support financially. Imagine the grocery bill once we start having children!"

The summons squealed with delight- perhaps he WAS coming around after all!

"But I only want the BEST of you," he said. The two summons leaned in closer. Glenn nodded, his smile growing. "So, I've decided that the one who gets to marry me has to complete a simple task. Whoever does it first gets to marry me. Does that sound fair to the two of you?"

Sonja and Genie nodded enthusiastically.

"All right. Now listen up. . ."

~

Rapt. Rapt. Rapt.

A very grumpy girl sat up in bed, blinking as she turned her attention to the clock on her wall. "One o'clock in the morning? Who's up at this ridiculous hour of the day throwing pebbles at my window?" Leena grumbled to himself as she got out of bed and walked over to her window. She opened it and stuck her head outside.

"Leena?"

Leena looked down and, much to her surprise, saw Glenn standing below her window with a knapsack over one shoulder and a sleeping bag under his arm. Seeing she was awake, her boyfriend waved cheerfully. The Arni native was not so cheerful. "Glenn? What the hell are you doing outside my window at one o'clock in the morning?"

"Can I crash here tonight?" he asked.

"Why?"  
"It's a long story," said Glenn. He tilted his head slightly. "Please?"

Leena sighed heavily. "All right, but you WILL be sleeping on the floor- my mother will have a cow if she sees you in my bed," she said. Glenn nodded, carefully making his way up to her window. "Now that you've disturbed my beauty sleep, mind telling me what's brought you all the way from Termina down here in Arni?"  
~

"KID!!! I LOVE YOU! DON'TCHA SEE WE'RE MEANT TO BE!?"

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU STUPID CHICKEN HAWK!" Kid screamed as Korcha chased her down one of the makeshift Guldovian streets. The Radical Dreamer was NOT pleased with her situation- she did NOT like Korcha, even if he DID help save her life. He was just too. . . obsessive. . . for her tastes.

Kid had gone to sleep in her room in Serge's house, yet strangely enough had woken up on the floor in Korcha's room. She REALLY had no idea how she'd gotten there or why, but when she tried to escape, Korcha had woken up and taken it as a declaration of love. From there Kid had begun to run away, Korcha in hot pursuit.

From up above, sitting on a rooftop of one of the Guldovian houses, sat Sonja, who was rubbing her hands together in what she hoped was triumph. "Yes, Glenn, my love, one Korcha and Kid are married then you and I shall be married! We were meant to be together, my sweet!"

"Not if I get them married first! Then Glenn will be married to ME!"

"No way, Genie!" Sonja said, turning to the other Green summon. "I'm already half-way there! See? Korcha seems to really like Kid! Just look at him! He's talking about how beautiful their children will be!" She sighed happily. "But they won't be as beautiful as the children Glenn and I have!"

Genie snorted. "Ha! Once they tire out I'M going to lock them in a closet!"

"Oh yeah? Well I'M going to set up a romantic dinner for two!"

"I'M going to send them on a cruise around the world!"

"I'M going to have Korcha recite poetry!"

"I'M going to put Kid in a wedding dress!"

And on they continued.

~

__

Meanwhile, in the shed behind Dario and Glenn's cabin. . .

~

"Hello?" Dario called through the locked door of the shed. He knocked a little, waiting for a response. "Glenn? Little brother? Are you out there?" The Deva knocked again. "Zappa? Zippa? Little ones? It's getting REALLY cramped in here and we'd like to get out of here!"

"We can't move! This is quite uncomfortable!" Norris added.

"MA! DA! CAN YE GET US OUT OF HERE!?" Karsh yelled. "HELP US!!!"

"HELP!!!"

~

AN: For those who didn't get it, the point of the scene in Guldove is that Glenn asked Sonja and Genie to perform an impossible task- that of convincing Korcha and Kid to marry. Chicken Hawk doesn't have a snow ball's chance in Hell. For that matter, neither do Sonja and Genie. Glenn is in Arni because if the summons don't get him, Kid will. 


	4. Run, Glenn, run!

A Whole Lot of Trouble With Summons

-or-

****

KID'S REVENGE!!!

By Dixxy

After convincing Korcha to play a game of Hide-and-Go-Seek with her, Kid took off without even bothering to look for the aforementioned Chicken Hawk. What she REALLY wanted to do was find out why she'd been brought to Guldove and who had brought her there. Somehow she really didn't think it was Schala or the Astral Amulet, and it seemed highly unlikely that she'd done it herself. 

Question was, who did it?

"So. . . are you married yet?"

Kid stopped in her tracks and looked up and down the wooden bridges that made Guldove's streets. Her eyes finally settled on a familiar, yet strange, sight. There, sitting on one of the railings, was the bright-eyed, happy being known to most as Sonja. The Green summon looked at her anxiously, wings beating softly behind her. "Sonja?" Kid asked. "What are you doing here in Guldove?"

"Why, helping you!" said Sonja, standing up and putting an arm around Kid's shoulder. She sighed happily as she began to walk the Radical Dreamer down the streets of the floating city. "And myself, but that's beside the point- oh, I just LOVE weddings! You're going to make such an ADORABLE bride!!!"

"Married!?" Kid asked. "Where did ya get an idea like THAT!?"  
"YOU'RE not going to get Kid married- I AM!!!" Kid turned her gaze again to see a very irritated looking Genie floating over to her and the other summon. Sonja growled back, flapping her wings irately at the other summon. "Once Kid and Korcha are married then he's MINE!!!"

"No, I'M going to get them married- he's MINE!!!"

"MINE!!!"

"MINE!!!"

"MINE, MINE, MINE!!!"

"MINE TIMES A MILLION!!!"

"MINE TIMES INFINTY!!!"

"MINE TIMES INFINTY TIMES INFINITY!!!"

"MINE TIMES-"

"QUIET!!!!!" 

Sonja and Genie stopped their argument to turn to the now very pissed off Kid, who was breathing heavily and looked a bit frazzled. "WHO is yours and WHY do you want me to marry that INCOMPETANT, IGNORANT, AND ARROGANT CHICKEN HAWK!?" she screeched.

Genie cleared her throat. "Well, you see, Glenn told us that whichever of us could get you to marry Korcha would get to marry him! It's a competition to win his hand! So now I'm going to bring you back to Korcha so I can get married myself! You can be my matron of honor, Kid!"

"No, I'M going to marry Glenn, not YOU, you-" Sonja started in retort.

"So Glenn sent you?" said Kid. The two summons nodded, then went back to arguing, eventually getting into a clothes-tearing, hair ripping cat fight that lured some of the male citizens of Guldove out of their homes to watch. Kid leaned up one of the residential towers to think about what the two Green summons had told her. Since both of them could fly it was no obvious how she had arrived in Guldove, and her next task was obvious.

First, she was going to tell Sonja and Genie she wasn't going to marry Korcha.

Then she was going to put Glenn in the Guldove infirmary.

If he was lucky.

~

"Are you sure you don't want breakfast?"  
"I'm sure, Leena," Glenn said, sitting on Leena's bed. "Thanks again."

"Your welcome- just don't let my mom find out," she said. She placed a careful hand on the side of his face and smiled. "No matter how much of a gentleman you were last night, what with sleeping on the floor, I don't think she's going to be in love with the idea of you spending the night in my room. Unless of course we were to get married, in which case she'd encourage the practice and THEN some."

"Anxious for grandchildren?" he joked.

"Not NOW she isn't- I'm her oldest and I'm just sixteen- but I can promise you the minute I do get married she's going to start thinking about that quite a bit and I'm sure my husband and I will know it," Leena said. She cracked a grin and started to play with the long lavender hair ribbon that hung from her boyfriend's hair. "Maybe it'll be you. Who knows what the future holds? FATE doesn't control us anymore- we can do whatever the hell we want."

Glenn kissed Leena's forehead and winked. "Maybe," he said, ruffling his fingers through her hair. "But I don't think I'll live to see the altar if your mother catches me in here with you like this- I gotta go, babe." Giving her one final good-bye kiss, Glenn was out the window and on his way out of Arni.

Considering Arni's economic situation, most of the people were up fairly early (Serge, however, was not "most of the people" and according to most of the people he knew in Arni he had a tendency to sleep in). This meant that questions would be raised if people saw a young Dragoon exiting Leena's house. That is exactly what he chose to jump out the window, dash through the backyard, jump the fence, and take the long way out through the bushes.

Before long, he had made it back to the main road without much trouble. From there, it was onto Fossil Valley, then to Termina, and back to his cabin, where he knew there was something very important he had to do. Glenn paused, tapping his head and his foot as he tried to remember what it was.

_Stupid memory- I can never remember anything! Dario wouldn't have-_

A thousand alarms went off in Glenn's head. "By the Ancient Dragonians! Dario! I left him, Karsh, and Norris in the back shed! They're gonna KILL ME for leaving them there all night!" Quickly, Glenn began to run towards Termina, all the while praying that his brother and friends were all right, the underlying thought that he was going to die never really leaving him alone.

Unfortunately, there was a rather large road block waiting for him at the entrance of Fossil Valley. Apon seeing it, Glenn (literally) skidded to a halt, stopping just a few feet away from the monstrous thing standing in his way. The color drained from his face, as he knew exactly what it was.

Salamander.

And sitting on Salamander's shoulder was Kid.

Every swear word Glenn knew began to circulate through his head. Many of these words had earned Glenn a spanking when he was younger. Many of these words he would dare not say in front of a woman. Many of these were words that this author would never use in any circumstances, especially not in a PG-13 fanfic.

_She knows. _

I'm screwed.

"Hello, Glenn," Kid said rather coolly. "How are you thing morning?"

The calmness in Kid's voice was unsettling. Of course the fact she was sitting on the shoulder of a giant, fire-breathing lizard that was flicking its tongue at him didn't help very much. Glenn gulped. "I'm. . . doing all right, I suppose. Er. . . how are you doing, Kid? Did I mention you look absolutely lovely this morning?"

"Oh, considering I spent most of last night running away from Chicken Hawk, I'd say I'm doing just great," Kid said with a smile on her face. Kid had moved from a eerie calm to her normal, friendly, yet slightly un-ladylike disposition, which was even more frightening than the calm Kid. "But you know what would make me feel even better, Glenn?"

Glenn chose not to say anything- rather he stood shaking in his boots.

"**_KICKING YER ARSE SO HARD YOU'LL KISS THE MOONS!!!_**"

It was here that Glenn screamed and began to run around in circles as he tried to avoid the streams of fire the Red summon was shooting at him, all the while listening to Kid's insane laughter. Suddenly turning Sonja and Genie on Kid didn't seem like such a bright idea. He'd thought the Radical Dreamer would be understanding about the whole situation, but apparently that was not the case, unless Kid's idea of understanding was attacking someone with a giant fire-breathing lizard.

_I have to do something before I'm a Shiny Ember!_

Eventually Glenn was able to seek shelter in a small, dug-out cavern near the entrance of Fossil Valley. He was breathing heavily, his chest heaving up and down with every breath he took. He poked his head outside once, to see that Kid and Salamander had somehow missed his escape into the cave. He breathed a sigh of relief and leaned his head up against the back wall. For now, he could rest and try to think up a plan.

_For once, I almost wish Sonja and Genie were here! They wouldn't think twice about protecting me! Of course they'd also expect I'd be so grateful to them that I'd marry them, but. . . oh, what I am going to do!? _Glenn thought miserably. He bit his bottom lip as he wracked his brain for a plan. Just a simple, simple plan to get himself out of this one. 

"Grr. . ."

Glenn looked over towards the mouth of the cavern and winced. Kid had decided to enlist the aide of not only Salamander, but also that of Red Wolf. And now the wolf summon had sniffed him out. Glenn let out a scream and bulleted out of the cave, just barely missing Red Wolf's snapping jaws as he began to run again, this time with the fire-breathing wolf hot (no pun intended) on his tail.

"THERE HE IS! GWT'EM!"

FWASH!

Another huge burst of fireball erupted from Salamander's mouth. Red Wolf was barking and yapping as it hoped around the flames, all the while trying to catch Glenn, who was miraculously able to stay one step ahead of the two summons. Or at least one step ahead of Red Wolf- Salamander wasn't always in the position to go very far because of the fact he was kind-of stuck in the ground wherever he went. None the less, one thought rang through Glenn's mind in a constant accord.

_I'M GONNA DIE!!!_

~

"You know. . . I don't think that Kid and Korcha are going to get married," Sonja observed. She and the other summon were on Gaia's Navel having tea and cookies as they watched some of the local monsters duke it out- the PreHysterias were attempting to hunt a Pterodactyl but weren't having very much luck.

Genie nodded, sipping her tea. She grabbed a cookie, which was in the shape of Glenn's head, and took a bite. The summon chewed thoughtfully, pondering what he friend and fellow Glenn-worshipper had said. "This is a truly impossible task- should we ask Glenn for another task?" she asked. 

Sonja nodded, jumping to her feet and flapping her wings excitedly. "Yeah!!!" she said. "This task is a bit impossible- I think Kid doesn't even LIKE Korcha, unless Chicken Hawk is an affectionate pet name her in El Nido, but somehow I doubt that. So let's go see Glenn!"

The two summons nodded at each other and flew off in search of their obsession.

~

Glenn whimpered- Kid, Salamander, and Red Wolf had finally cornered him. He was trapped between a very large rock wall in Fossil Valley and three very dangerous beings of the Red innate. Red Wolf was growling dangerously, Salamander was breathing tufts of smoke out of its nostrils, and Kid had a dangerous look in her eyes. Glenn was on his knees, his hands clasped as he tried to think of a really good plea for mercy. 

"Say yer prayers, Glenn. . . not that it'll do ya any good!" Kid said. "Salamander!"

Salamander made a strange growling sound in response.

"Ready?"

"RARGH!"

"Aim?"

"RARGH!"

"F-"

"There you are!"

"Hi Sally!!!"

Everyone paused to see two very energetic Green summons were flying down from the sky, landing next to Glenn. The Dragoon gulped- he wasn't sure which was worse- death by Kid or marriage by summons. Neither option seemed very appealing to him, and he winced in response.

"What're you two doin' here?" Kid asked.

"We figured out that since you obviously don't want to marry Korcha at all, we're going to ask Glenn for another task!" said Sonja. She grabbed his left arm and put her face in his and began to bounce up and down in excitement. "Give me one I can do! Something Genie can't do!"

"C'mon, Sonja, let's be fair about this!" said Genie, grabbing Glenn's other arm. "For now, let's all head back to Gaia's Navel and discuss this further!" The Dragoon's eyes widened in fear as he realized what this meant. He screamed and immediately began to try and escape as the summons prepared to fly off with him in tow. 

Kid, seeing that this would be just as painful for Glenn, only smiled and waved cheerfully. "See you lasses, soon! Don't be too gentle with him, now- he's a tough guy, you know!" she called. "Bye Glenn! Hope this'll teach you not to piss me off! Have fun! I'll send someone to pick you up in a few weeks!"

"HEEEELLLLPPPPP!!!!"

Once they were out of sight, Kid turned to her summons. "So. . . what do you guys want to do now? Nikki and Miki are in town with the other Magical Dreamers- how much do you think it costs to buy tickets for one daughter-clone, a fire-breathing wolf, and a giant fire-breathing lizard?"

Red Wolf wagged its tail and let its tongue loll out of its mouth.

Salamander scratched at the ground idly.

Kid sighed, seeing that she would get no response from the non-humanoid summons. Then, she smiled and giggled playfully. "Well, they'd probably have a bloody hard time kicking us out even if we didn't have tickets because of Sal's size. . . let's go anyways! C'mon! It'll be fun!"

~

". . . hello? Is anybody out there? We've been stuck in here for three days now and we're starting to run out of food. Could someone please unlock this door and get us out of here? Please? We'll do anything you want us to- PLEASE! LET US OUT OF HERE! IT'S DARK AND CRAMPED AND STUFFY IN HERE! I WANT OUT! I HAVEN'T SEEN THE LIGHT OF DAY IN DAYS! HAVE MERCY! SOMEONE! PLEASE! LET US OUT OF HERE! **_GET US THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!! I DON'T WANNA DIE A VIRGIN!!!_**"

"Norris! Get a hold of yourself! This is no time to panic!"

"**_I WANT OUT OF THIS DAMN SHED RIGHT NOW!!!_**"

"Dar, do you think it's time to hit him over the head again?"

"Without a doubt. Okay, Norris, time for your nap. . ."

~

And the moral of this story is. . . hmm, that's a real good question.

~

Hi guys! I hope you enjoyed this latest installment of _The Trouble with Summons_. This time it wasn't Sonja and Genie who caused so much trouble, but rather Salamander and Red Wolf. 

As for Sonja and Genie not being upset over the whole Kid-Korcha trick, well, they're a wee bit too obsessive over Glenn to really notice- anyone desperate enough to do half of what they summons have done is pretty darn obsessed. 

Just out of curiosity. . . anyone think I should do any SERIOUS Glenn/Sonja or Glenn/Genie stories? I'm actually considering it. For that matter, how long should we leave Dario, Karsh, and Norris in the shed? 

Read and review _Thick as Thieves_ if you haven't already- the ransom hasn't been paid yet! 

~Dixxy


	5. A taste of their own medicine!

A Crapload of Trouble with Summons

By Dixxy

-OR-

Sonja and Genie Get a Taste of Their Own Medicine

Note: This chapter was inspired by Viperwolf. Thanks, Viperwolf!

"I think your mother hates me."

"No she doesn't!"

"Then why did I have to sneak in through the window to see you?"  
Leena sighed at Glenn, who was sitting on the foot of her bed. "I don't know. You'd think she'd want me to be seeing someone with connections to high places, don't you?" Glenn nodded in agreement, inching closer to her to wrap his arms around her waist and kiss her nose. "So. . . what's the current deal with the summons?"

"Well, the last time they tried to take me to Gaia's Navel I lucked out and they dropped me into the ocean," he said. Leena gasped, but Glenn shrugged. "I'm okay- I got picked up by Korcha. We made a stop at Water Dragon Isle for a few days and then he dropped me off here. Still, no Sonja and Genie. Not that I'm complaining, mind you."

"Maybe they're trying to find you in the ocean," Leena said thoughtfully.

Glenn shrugged. "Well, as long as they're out of my hair I'm fine."

Leena rested her head on Glenn's shoulder. "How do you feel about us?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think we could. . . well. . . I don't know. . . end up getting married or something?" she asked, looking at Glenn lovingly. She began to trace circles on his lap, snuggling up closer to him. "We could always elope somewhere. . . we could stay away for a few weeks and then come back to tell everyone the good news." Leena's eyes widened dreamily. "And we could move into a tiny little cottage in the country so the children could play in the yard."

Glenn's face paled. "Um. . . Leena?"

Leena wasn't listening. "And our first grandchildren would look just like-"

"Leena?"  
"- and we'll die in each other's arms of old age and-"

"Lee-na!"

"-and our graves will be on a little knoll of grass-"

"LEE-NA!!!"

"What?"

"WHO'S THERE!? LEENA! IF IT'S THAT HORNY LITTLE DRAGOON I'LL-"  
Glenn swore under his breath. "Looks like I need to vacate the premises before she makes you test out your tech skills again," he said, quickly aligning himself with the window. Leena shook her head, scurrying over to him and grabbing his arm. "What? I gotta go before your mother kills me!" Glenn noticed the pleading look in Leena's eyes and smiled briefly. "Oh, I get it." He gave her a kiss on the cheek then began to unhitch the window. 

"No! Take me with you!"

A thousand alarms and bells began to go off in Glenn's head as his cheeks turned as red as Harle's outfit. _SHE WANTS ME TO WHAT!? _"Wh-wha-what did you just say!?" he asked. "I can't- I mean it's not right- I mean what are you talking about- but what if- and what it- but- we can't- and- but- and what if- oh, I give up. Are you wearing shoes? Because I'm not dealing with complaining about sore feet if we go through the valley."

~

"He's with that Blue innate girl again! WHY!?" Sonja asked. The two Green summons were spying- er, eavesdropping- er, checking up on their favorite Dragoon in shinning armor as he and Leena made their way through Fossil Valley towards Termina (though what they planned to do once they got to Termina was not something the summons knew). They were sitting on a high cliff, plotting their next tactic to try and win Glenn's heart.

That is. . . until HE showed up.

First off, the _Jaws_ theme song began to play out of no where. Sonja and Genie looked around in confusion, wondering who in their right mind was playing the _Jaws_ theme song at that hour of the night in Fossil Valley. Even more so, they were wondering why they knew it was the _Jaws_ theme song since they don't have movie theaters in El Nido, much less horror movies like _Jaws_.

Dun, dun.

Dun, dun.

Dun dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun- 

Second, they heard an odd plodding sound in the background. Plod, plod, plod, plod. It sounded wet, and it sounded like it might have been squishy as well. Plod, plod, plod, plod. On the sound wet, getting slightly louder and closer as more time passed. Plod, plod, plod, and plod. What was this strange wet sound? Plod, plod, plod, plod. The Green summons were getting nervous now. Plod, plod, plod, plod. 

Third, they heard the voice.

And they were afraid.

"GIVE ME A *RIBBIT* KISS!"

The two summons turned to see they were facing none other than. . .

"IT'S FROG PRINCE!"

Sure enough, the plump blue frog was hopping from foot to foot before the summons, ribbeting every so often. "Give me a *RIBBIT* kiss my buttercup-love *RIBBIT* puppies! You and *RIBBIT* I are meant for *RIBBIT* each other! Don't you *RIBBIT* see? We could *RIBBIT* be so *RIBBIT* happy together!" 

Sonja and Genie both screamed bloody murder, then flew off into the sky.

"WAIT! COME *RIBBIT* BACK!!! I LOVE *RIBBIT* YOU!!!"

"We've got to get out of here!" Sonja said. Her normally neat and tidy bun was coming apart as individual strands fell freely into her face. "We belong to GLENN!!! Not THAT walking wart monger! He's a FROG! Quick, where do we go, Genie? We have to get away!!!"

"I don't know! I'm a summon, not genius!"

"THAT'S NICE BUT IT ISN'T GOING TO HELP US NOW IS IT!?"

Genie scowled. "Sonja, NOT NOW!" They stopped in mid air and looked down at the plodding Blue summon. "Maybe we can wait him out? I mean, he can't possibly stay down there for too long, can he? Who knows, maybe he'll get bored with us and go find something else to do! Maybe he'll harass the mermaid or the bratty little girl! Or maybe even that bartender with the revealing dress!"

"Yeah! We just have to wait him out!" Sonja said enthusiastically.

~

__

Two hours, twenty-three minutes, and forty-seven seconds later. . .

~

"Genie?"  
"I know, Sonja, I know- he's STILL down there."

Sonja grumbled. "Can't we just attack him?"  
"No- then Blue Whale would get mad at us," said Genie. "We need to outsmart the damn amphibious- hey, he left!" The summons paused, looked down, and saw that- indeed- Frog Prince had left. The two summons squealed and giggled in delight, hugging each other in happiness. Deciding that they were too tired to stay aloft much longer, they flew down to the ground to take a rest.

"I *RIBBIT* LOVE YOU!!!"

The summons screamed. "OH NO! HE WAS JUST WAITING US OUT UNTIL WE GOT TOO TIRED TO KEEP FLYING!!!" Sonja concluded. Then, seeing as their legs weren't tired, they began to run for their lives as they screamed their heads off, zigzagging their way through Fossil Valley with their arms in the air and they mouths so wide you could see their uvulas. 

Frog Prince just happily plodded along.

Dun, dun.

Plod, plod, plod, plod.

And on the chase went through Fossil Valley.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!"

Dun, dun.

Plod, plod, plod, plod.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!"

Dun, dun.

Plod, plod, plod, plod.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!"

Dun, dun.

Plod, plod, plod, plod.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!"

Dun, dun.

Plod, plod, plod, plod.

~

Eventually, the summons ran into the Shadow Forest. They stopped briefly, catching their breath against a tree. A few Bulbs stopped prancing about the forest briefly to look at the strange people in their forest, then, deciding they really didn't care today, went back to their prancing. 

"Well, maybe he won't follow us here," Sonja tried to reason.

"What are the chances on that!?" Genie asked. "He's as desperate for us as we are for Glenn!"

Sonja's eyes widened in terror. "We're doomed."

Dun, dun.

Plod, plod, plod, plod.

The summons froze. He was coming!

Sonja and Genie ran full force into the woods, their arms flailing about as they continued to scream bloody murder. Frog Prince only plodded along, much like he has been doing for the past several paragraphs of this fanfic because the authoress can't come up with a plot device. Damn plot devices. Damn them all! 

Ah, but look! Look there! Do you see what I see? Yes! Yes! It's Pip, hoping through the forest! Yes! There's Pip! We can use Pip to our advantage! Heck, we can take advantage of him and use him as our plot device! Will he live? Maybe. We'll see what happens. 

So Pip was hoping through the forest n his quest to "see de wowld". Currently, however, he was finding the Shadow Forest kind of boring. He'd been there with Serge before and he'd explored it several times on his own before. He needed something ELSE to do. But what could he do?

Just then, he saw two women run past him screaming their heads off. Pip blinked, unsure what was going on. Being the curious little mutating squirrel he was, Pip began to hop after them. Maybe they were trying to see the world, too! "Wait fo me!" Pip said, flapping his wings as he tried to catch up to them. 

So now we have Sonja and Genie running through the woods with Pip trying to catch up to them and Frog Prince chasing the summons through the Shadow Forest. Wait, is the author forgetting something? Oh, right, of course, how could she forget? This IS a Frog Prince chase scene, after all.

Dun, dun.

Plod, plod, plod, plod.

All through the forest they went, each trying to keep away from their pursuer or catch up to those they were chasing (though admittedly Pip had no clue what was going on). Eventually, the Sonja and Genie turned into the big tree that led to the Viper Manor Sewer system in attempts of escape.

Through the slosh they all went, Sonja and Genie not caring how wet they were getting. Pip hoped along the rocks to keep from getting wet while the Frog Prince calmly floated along. The Green summons looked back, and while they had no idea where Pip came from, they saw the other summon and began to run faster until they reached the well. Not wasting a second, they went up the ladder. Pip flew up after them, and when he reached the ladder, the Frog Prince simply jumped out.

And the group tore through the front yard of Viper Manor, much to the bewilderment of the new night watch Viper had set up. He kind of had to fire the last night watch because Serge and his friends had gotten in, and even though Serge was his friend now he hadn't been at the time. But that's irrelevant. We care that Sonja and Genie led the increasingly strange group through the front gates and back towards Termina.

~

"I don't get it," Glenn said as he closed the door on his cabin once he and Leena were inside. "You'd think that by now they'd have found me. Even though I fell in the ocean they should have seen Korcha pick me. And, come to think of it, I thought I saw something funny when I was with Korcha, but-"

Leena sighed, resting her head on Glenn's head. "Relax, Glenn, I'm sure they're fine and _I'm sure_ they won't be bothering you for quite a while. Trust me, they'll probably find something else to keep them occupied. For now it's just you and me, right? Now why don't you let your brother and his friends go before they all loose their minds in that shed out back." she said, fingering the noticeably empty Frog Prince summon crystal.

_Well, maybe if they know what it's like to be mercilessly pursued by a love-struck summon they'll leave Glenn alone, _Leena thought. _I'll get him back into his summon crystal before something bad happens to them. I don't want to HURT Sonja or Genie- I just want them to learn a lesson._

But then. . .

"AHHH!!!"

"GLENN, SAVE US!!!"

"WAIT FOW ME!!!"

"I *RIBBIT* LOVE YOU!!!"

Leena screamed as the summons, Pip, and Frog Prince suddenly crashed through Glenn's front door- well, at least the large gaping hole where his front door USED to be- and began to run around the room in a mad panic. Leena began to scream bloody at the chaos that had just ensued in the small space.

Glenn, who had just unlocked the shed and was now staring oddly at Norris, who was kissing the ground, looked up at the sound of chaos coming from the cabin he called his home. Dario and Karsh were staring in disbelief. Even Norris looked up, blinked, and spit out the grass in his mouth.

"Uh. . ." Karsh said.

Glenn shook his head. "I'm not going in there."

He didn't have to. All three summons, Leena, and Pip came careening out of the cabin. Glenn screamed as Sonja and Genie hid behind him as the Frog Prince plodded in front of him, still declaring his love for the Green summons. Pip calmly bounced over to Sonja and Genie, gently tugged on Genie's pant leg, and calmly asked what they were doing. Leena was visibly shaken as he clutched Glenn's arm and began to cry into his shoulder.

Glenn sighed heavily, lowered his head, and wondered something. _Why me?_

~

I'd say this is probably the most out of character edition of this series.

Two things: **I still need reviews for _Thick as Thieves_ **(two to be exact- I left a review to get back to Alba and Tha Kid reviewed twice) so once it reaches the magical number of 20 the next chapter will be posted. AND IT IS DONE. **I now have a Chrono Cross fanfiction archive**. And I need fanfics to archive there. The URL is in my profile (click on "Scars of Time" when the page loads). The site also has a links section and some areas for character and plot analysis. I eventually want to get a free-discussion message board as well so people can get into arguments ("White!" "Blonde!" "White!" "Blonde!" "PINK!!!"). 


End file.
